Back when I was in college studying relational communications, I took particular interest in what Dr. Gary Chapman has discovered as the Five Love Languages. Basically, the five different “love languages” outlines the idea that every person speaks a particular language that makes him or her feel most love. If each individual were to discover and exercise their partner’s love language, you could improve each others’ happiness and health of the relationship.
This topic fascinated me since during the time the boyfriend (now fiance) and I were not in the best place. The Five Love Languages was groundbreaking because it gave me guidance on how to better our relationship.
And who doesn’t want that?
The languages are:
- Words of Affirmation – Ex: “Babe, you’re looking really skinny, have you lost weight?”
- Acts of Service – Ex: “No worries, honey, I’ll unclog the toilet for you.”
- Receiving Gifts – Ex: “I thought long and hard about this one, here is a kitchen aid mixer in mint green, with all the attachments” #wishlist
- Quality Time – Ex: “Let’s go have a picnic in the park, eat chicken fettuccine alfredo and delicious cookies or donuts or brownies or ice cream…or all of them.”
- Physical Touch – Ex: “Let’s cuddle, all night, so what if your body is like furnace and I cant get comfortable.”
Of course, I am kidding with some of these examples….some.
Sooo… I took it. My language is Quality Time which means I feel most loved when I get my partner’s undivided attention. We do this in long nights of debating over odd topics or discussing our hopes and dreams or just talking about anything. What would not count is binge watching the House of Cards on Netflix because our attention is elsewhere and not on each other. But then afterwards we spend hours discussing what we just watched and that is quality time.
Unfortunately, the fiance and I do not speak the same language. For him its Acts of Service, so when I cook him dinner, help him with his business, or massage his god awful feet (jeez, the things we do for our partner’s) he feels most loved.
What’s interesting is your love language is often linked to how your parents or guardian would show you love when you were younger. My father and I used to spend hours debating and discussing and those are the times I felt most loved by him.
Alright… I could go on and on but now its your turn! Go ahead and take the test to see what’s your love language, there’s an option for singles and for those in relationships. Then comment below, we would love to know!